Complaints Choir Of Singapore Gets Banned
In another move that only serves to affirm many foreigners’ “prejudices against Singapore”, the Media Development Authority of Singapore (MDA) refused to allow the Complaints Choir of Singapore from performing with its foreign members in the M1 Fringe Festival, just one day before the performance was due to start. This despite the 6 members who live permanently in Singapore but are not citizens.
In a statement issued by a deputy director of the MDA, a license had been issued to the choir to perform at the festival, but only with Singaporean citizens. The reason given was that the song contents touch on domestic issues and only Singapore citizens were allowed to participate in the public performances.
If you check out the lyrics of the song (included below), you would notice that they are part of the everyday grouses of people living and working in Singapore. I do not see the need to disallow foreigners who chose to spend their lives in Singapore from airing their grievances, since many of the complaints are shared by Singaporeans in the first place. In fact, it just shows how the authorities at the MDA are a bunch of old armchair fogeys who just cannot see the funny side in life and laugh at themselves.
The choir’s founders also posted a damning verdict of the restricted license issued by MDA:
“We see the symptoms of a neurotic society. We find it irritating that foreigners - people that built this city, nurse Singaporean kids and bring in their knowledge - are not allowed to complain.” Complaints Choirs of the World
While it must be said the above has been slightly exaggerated, it does highlight the prevalent contradictions in the image that Singapore has tried hard to change in recent years - that of a more open, transparent and modern society embracing change. How open can you be when you find it hard to swallow a few light hearted complaints from foreigners living in your country?
Watch the video clip of the performance below and tell me it is not tongue firmly in cheek. The melody is not that catchy and you might need the lyrics to know what they are singing about.
Lyrics:
THE COMPLAINTS CHOIR SINGAPORE LYRICS
We get fined for almost everything
Drivers won’t ‘give chance’ when you want to ‘change lane’
The indoors are cold, the outdoors are hot;
And the humid air, it wrecks my hair
Those answering machines always make you hold
Only to hang up on you
When a pregnant lady gets on the train
Everyone pretends to be asleep
I’m stuck with my parents till I’m 35
Cause I can’t apply for HDB
We don’t recycle any plastic bags
But we purify our pee
*chorus:
What’s wrong with Singapore?
Losing always makes me feel so sore
Cause if you’re not the best
Then you’re just one of the rest
My oh my Singapore
What exactly are we voting for?
What’s not expressly permitted
is prohibited
“Ooh”
When I’m hungry at the food court, I see
People ‘chope’ seats with their tissue paper
To the aunty staying upstairs:
Your laundry’s dripping on my bed sheets
Please don’t squat on the toilet seats
And don’t clip your nails on MRT
Stray cats get into noisy affairs
At night my neighbor makes weird animal sounds
People put on fake accents to sound posh
And queue up 3 hours for donuts
Will I ever live till eighty five
to collect my CPF?
*chorus
Singaporeans too kiasu! (so scared to lose)
Singaporeans too kiasi! (so scared o die)
Singaporeans too kiabor!(scared of their wives)
Maybe we’re just too stressed out! (even the kids)
“Ooh”
Old National Library was replaced by an ugly tunnel
Singaporean men can’t take independent women
People blow their nose into the swimming pool
And fall asleep on my shoulder in the train
Singapore’s national bird is the crane (the one with yellow steel girders)
Real estate agents’ leaflets clogging up my mailbox (en bloc, en bloc; en bloc, en bloc)
Why can’t we be buried when we die?
No one wants to climb Bukit Timah with me
*chorus
“Ooh”
There are not enough public holidays
My neighbor sings KTV all night
Wedding dinners never start on time
My hair is always cut shorter than I want
Channel 5 commercials are way too long
Why do men turn bad?
*At first it was to speak more mandarin
Then it was to speak proper English
What’s wrong with my powderful Singlish?
People sit down during rock concerts
We have to pay for tap water at restaurants
ERP gantries are everywhere
But I can still see traffic jams on the road
All the bus stops have tilted benches to keep you off balance
*chorus
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